Category Archives: Real Talk

It’s OK

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Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetHappy March! (Wait, really – March already?!) James and I had the best weekend hosting my mom, dad, and brother, who were all visiting Dallas. The weather was icky, which initially felt like a disappointment, but it ended up being a total blessing because it meant that we got to all hunker down together and do absolutely nothing but enjoy one another’s company (okay, and lots of really delicious food and wine). Our family has gotten to travel to so many places together, doing fun activities and exploring new cultures all the while, and that has conditioned us to always be on the go, which is so very enriching and life-giving. But the flip side of that is the moments of stillness, the ones that really let you connect and laugh until your belly aches. There’s a very special sacredness in the quieter moments, and I was reminded of that this weekend. It feels so good to rest and connect and snuggle (Callie got a lot of love, too, as you can imagine). The weekend was just perfect.

This parallels an ongoing struggle I’ve faced over the course of several months, one in which I beat myself up for not feeling motivated or inspired to tackle a specific project or write a new blog post or put one more event on my calendar. I am an overachiever, to be sure, and I feel guilty when I don’t make headway on certain goals because I’ve just chosen to nap or watch shows on Netflix or try a new recipe or go to yoga class or meet a friend for a cocktail instead. This feeling is self-imposed, of course, a sort of internal attack that causes me to focus on the few things I don’t do instead of all of the lovely things I do accomplish and get to share in with people I love.

I was talking to Korena about this a few weeks ago and the overall response she gave me, which instantly flooded me with a sense of calm, was that it’s okay. She followed that up with some really lovely advice about honing in on things that bring me joy in order to regain the motivation and inspiration that may be lacking, about, in her words, nourishing my soul in the areas most important to myself. That was the brilliant part, I thought – nourish my soul in the areas most important to me, not in the areas that are most important to society or my friends or anyone else. She encouraged me to slow down and focus on spending time doing things I love – cooking, planning a trip, decorating our home, snuggling with Callie, taking pictures – and just enjoying them instead of worrying about achieving a certain outcome or checking an item off of my list. I loved that, and ever since I’ve put it into practice, it has really and truly worked.

So now, every time I look at my brand new It’s OK banner in my office, I’m reminded of my new mantra – that is more than okay to simply soak up the simple pleasures of everyday life, reflecting on the joy they bring and the peace they provide. Doing so will bring me all of the motivation and inspiration and pleasure that I could ever imagine…and more.

Callie’s Birthday

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Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetToday is Callie girl’s 6th birthday, and if you couldn’t tell, we are fairly obsessed with our pup. She is truly the greatest companion, the sweetest face to come home to at the end of a long day. She is our family, so we treat her as such, of course! To celebrate her special day, we took Callie to our local pet store, where we stocked up on toys and treats, including an adorable pupcake that she quickly devoured.

It may seem silly or trivial to celebrate the life of a furry companion, but in the midst of the darkness and sadness that plagues the world, we certainly believe in the power and beauty in cherishing all of life’s moments and God’s gifts. The joy that Callie has brought to our lives is certainly worth celebrating. Happy birthday, puppy girl – we love you!

P.S. Remember when we threw Callie a birthday party and tons of our friends (and their dogs) came and celebrated alongside us? We love our people.

 

Homework

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I have been thoroughly enjoying everything about my French class – my beautiful Parisian professor, my lovely classmates, taking copious amounts of notes in a new, pretty notebook, even the homework. Actually, especially the homework. I know, I know, homework can be tedious, laborious, and even unnecessary in a lot of cases, but the completion of my homework seems so imperative now that I’m learning a new language. I was out sick a few weeks ago and I had to miss my beloved French lessons, so I wasn’t in class to receive my packet of homework for the following session. I felt totally lost when I returned to the classroom – it was almost as if I had stumbled into the room where the Mandarin Chinese lessons were being taught, that’s how foreign French sounded to my ear that evening. Conversely, I spent plenty of time working through a packet of homework this past week and I felt totally prepared (and super smart!) as we went through the answers in class last night. It made the hugest difference. I guess I hadn’t realized the importance of thoroughly, intently completing my assignments until I didn’t have the opportunity to do so and really experienced the feeling of being far behind.

This mindset about homework translates to real world experiences, too, I think. In my early years in the non-profit world (or even while on job interviews after college), a time or two I definitely made the mistake of not doing enough (okay, or any) research on the person/company I was meeting with prior to our time together. I didn’t put enough effort into my homework, making me completely ill-prepared and poorly equipped to have a productive conversation. I don’t think this was because I intentionally chose not to prepare or because I was lazy – sometimes I think I just didn’t know the proper etiquette, forgetting that while people wanted to get to know me and my work, I also needed to get to know them and theirs. This goes for writing, too, in the fact that extensive research needs to be done before submitting a pitch to a publication. It’s this kind of extra work and thoughtfulness that can make your pitch or presentation stand out. Completing my French homework reminded me of the distance that you can travel if only you make the effort to do some legwork in advance.

So, aside from grammatical structure and key vocabulary words, my French class is teaching me a lot of things, things about life and preparedness and the value of homework. I’m thankful for the opportunity to stretch and grow and learn in a whole myriad of ways.

Image via Kimberly Chau for Sugar & Cloth

My Favorite Verse

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Today I am so motivated and inspired by my favorite verse:

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11

I have always loved this verse. I remember that it first struck me profoundly during my senior year of college (while I was running on the beach, specifically – those were the days!) as I was considering what I wanted to do with my life. I have always felt that God speaks to me most clearly through the people I love – through family and friends, especially – and through books, speaking engagements, and powerful quotes. So it was surprising to me on that when I asked God what I was supposed to do with my life, I heard Him whisper this simple response: It will present itself to you. It was profound and overwhelming and comforting all at once. The verse from Ecclesiastes came to the forefront of my mind shortly thereafter, jumping off the page at me and becoming my daily mantra. Over and over and over again the verse has presented itself to me, providing me comfort and guidance and direction. And it has always proven true, always – even though things may not turn out how I imagine the would, they always end up transpiring beautifully, completed within God’s very perfect timetable.

Do you have a favorite go-to verse that provides you with motivation and inspiration when you find yourself looking for help or comfort? If so, share it in the comments section – I’d love to add it to my arsenal!

Image via Trendland

On “Parenthood” & Family Gatherings

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Phood_S6_DDKA_horzTonight is a special night in TV Land – “Parenthood” finally returns from its several-week hiatus, just in time to mark the series’s 100th show! “Parenthood” is unanimously our favorite TV show. We actually watch it live on Thursday nights, which feels like a lost art in this day and age of Rokus and Netflix and DVRs. We count down the minutes until the show begins, then watch the hourlong program in rapt, agonizing through frequent commercial breaks. We laugh and we cry (usually James more than me – real talk) and then we bite our nails while watching the preview for next week’s show, thereby starting the waiting process all over again. Clearly, this ritual has become an obsession, but I like that we’ve started a fun little tradition all the same.

Becca passed along this link to me: ‘Parenthood’ Cast Share What They Learned From Being a Braverman. I got emotional reading through it, not only because it brings about an air of finality about the show itself (this is “Parenthood’s” last season, so it will come to a close by spring) but also because it is such a bold reminder of the importance of family. In today’s culture, it’s common to be separated by several states (if not a few countries), and while sometimes that space is important, this shift is wildly different than the way things used to be when families lived mere miles (heck, even blocks) from one another. I don’t think this is necessarily bad, but it’s markedly different, to be sure. Technology and ease of travel has made maintaining relationships simpler but a lot of planning and effort have to go into coordinating schedules, visits, and memory-making. And, frankly, for those families who live down the street from one another, there still can be a lot of planning and effort that goes into connecting with one another. So this begs the question, what do we have to do to connect to our families in meaningful ways?

Of all of the answers to the question of what the cast members learned from their roles on “Parenthood,” I like Lauren Graham’s response best:

“I think for me, the thing I’ve gotten is when in doubt, gather a group. Just fill your house with people, and something good will happen.”

This. Yes. Exactly! Pile your family into your home for a weekend visit, whether or not you have enough space (or clean sheets or blow-up mattresses or spare toiletries). Go over to your mom’s house for dinner, show up to your cousin’s birthday party, invite your brother and his friends over for cocktails. Form a habit, a routine, a tradition. Get people together in the good times and the bad. Celebrate together, grieve together, eat together, read together, rest together. Gather a group, your group. Fill your house with people, and something good will happen.

Image via NBC

Things I Don’t Do

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beachside-australian-wedding-75The start of a new year is so exciting, so full of promise. It’s easy to get carried away thinking about all of the fun things there are to do in a new year – all of the new habits you can make, classes you can take, projects you can start (or finish), places you can go. I personally have a long list of resolutions for 2015, and, for me, the practice of annual goal-setting hasn’t changed much over time – I love writing down goals for myself each January (and each spring and summer and fall, for that matter). But I’ve also found that there’s a necessary counterbalance to all of the resolution-making, an exercise inspired by Shauna Niequist. This year, in addition to writing down the things I hope to do, I’m starting a tradition of jotting down a list of things I don’t do. As Shauna writes,

“It’s brutal, making the list of Things I Don’t Do, especially for someone like me, who refuses most of the time to acknowledge that there is, in fact, a limit to her personal ability to get things done. But I’ve discovered that the list sets me free. I have it written in black and white, sitting on my desk, and when I’m tempted to go rogue and bake muffins because all the other moms do, I come back to both lists, and I remind myself about the important things: that time is finite, as is energy. And that one day I’ll stand before God and account for what I did with my life. There is work that is only mine to do: a child that is ours to raise, stories that are mine to tell, friends that are mine to walk with. The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being.”

So! Here goes nothing – my 2015 list of Things I Don’t Do.

Journal

Oh, this is a shameful one to admit. I love writing, clearly – whether it’s here on this blog, for Darling Magazine, or for Bungalow Magazine. I have tried journaling so many times (and I have stacks of beautiful blank journals to show how that turned out). I admire people who journal, who carve the time out to write and write and write, just for themselves. I often think about what an amazing keepsake a journal is, a place to catalogue your thoughts and fears and dreams and hopes. But this year I am saying it aloud: I don’t journal. I don’t keep up with it, going months and months without penning an entry. I channel my writing energy into other places and journaling goes to the wayside. This year I am saying that that is just fine. I have other ways of documenting my life – through photos and this blog and such – and I think it’s okay to reserve my pretty blank journals for to-do lists and recipes and other notes.

Attempt Crafting/DIY Projects

If I believed in reincarnation, I would hope to come back in another life as someone who is so effortlessly talented at crafting and successfully completing DIY projects. I see so many amazing ideas on Pinterest, making me want to invest in crafting supplies and a dedicated space in which to complete projects. However, in this very real life of mine, the closest I can get to any sort of crafting project is putting pictures in frames. So, yeah, there is no need for me to pursue this type of hobby. The only caveat is if a group of girlfriends wants to get together to do some sort of craft or activity – I can always get behind a group project (especially if a little bubbly is involved).

Check E-Mail Before Going to Work…or Before Going to Bed

I have literally zero reason to check my e-mail early in the morning before going into the office or late in the evening before turning in. I am thankful that as far as Touch A Life-related e-mails are concerned, there is nothing so urgent that it can’t be addressed during work hours – and, if there is some sort of emergency, I will receive a phone call or text. Nothing pressing will show up in my inbox, forcing me to miss out on some important bit of information before I can get to the office. The only thing that checking e-mail before work or before going to bed does is stress my little mind out. In the morning it makes me feel rushed to get into the office (even if the e-mails aren’t that urgent – just knowing that they’re there makes me fired up) and at night it keeps me up thinking about my to-do list instead of drifting off to dreamland. There is no point to that madness, so it ends now.

Say Yes to Every Event/Coffee Date/Party I’m Invited To

I have been working on this a bit over the course of the last several months, but I want to make 2015 the year that it sticks. I love a full calendar, one that’s packed to the brim with project deadlines and weekend trips and dinner dates and exercise classes. But I am an introvert at heart – I recharge best by myself, soaking in some quiet time, whether that’s by done by reading or napping or going for a jog or trying a new recipe. So I burn out easily when my social calendar is packed to the brim. I have learned that it is indeed okay to say no to things even though I don’t actually have a conflict that prevents me from saying yes. Since I truly love spending quality time with people, I  feel guilty when I turn invitations down without having a “legitimate” reason for doing so. But if I’m not refreshed and engaging, the person I’m with won’t enjoy our time together anyway – I frequently have to remind myself of that. I don’t need to run myself ragged in order to spend time with people I love.

Finish Books That Aren’t Good

There are millions of wonderful books in the world, so many that I don’t need to waste my time on reading the ones that aren’t great. This is not to say that I can decide, say, two pages in, that a book is bad – sometimes I’ve had to persevere through a tough section of a book to find out that, by the end, I love it. But if I’m over halfway through and the content or the writing style are just not improving, it is okay to put the book down and be done with it. The perfectionist in me rejects this idea wholeheartedly but I need to stop wasting time by finishing mediocre books. A plus – they can always be donated to good causes or sold at Half Price Books, majorly reducing clutter in our house.

There you have it! What do you think of a Things I Don’t Do list? Will you make one?

Image via Erin + Tara Photography for Ruffled

Eat Well & Travel Often

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il_570xN.470461853_4kg5I have the print pictured above hanging in our kitchen, and I love the way it inspires me every time I wander in for a cup of coffee or a glass of water. I consider it my mantra, a motivating phrase that lifts my spirits any time I ponder the thought. Eating well and traveling often, as surely you’ve noticed, are my two favorite hobbies, the experiences in my life that are the richest, partly because, in and of themselves, they are two of the best ways I can think of to spend my time and mostly because they are activities typically spent with people I love. All of my favorite memories revolve around what we ate and where we went, and all of my daydreams consist of delicious meals and faraway places.

As you may imagine, I’m experiencing massive withdrawals from my recent trip to northern California, and I plan to regale you of our adventures in San Francisco, Half Moon Bay, and Big Sur just as soon as I get my photos uploaded and sorted. It was an incredible trip, and I’m missing the coast in a major way (though not as much as I’m missing Mom & Andrew). Stay tuned!

Photo & print via chloevaux

Six Months

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Six Months

Today is our six month wedding anniversary! How did that happen?! I feel like our beautiful ceremony and reception were just yesterday. I wish I could teleport back to April 13th, reliving every single glorious moment of our sweet day. I was thinking about our vows, the words that we wrote for one another and said aloud in front of the people we love most, and I thought I would share them here with you today. We worked hard to craft these vows, cobbling them together from our thoughts and prayers and dreams as well as from inspiration found in the Bible, in books, and in beautiful wedding ceremonies. I absolutely love how they turned out – they perfectly encapsulate our spirit both as individuals and as a couple. I get all teary just typing them!

“On this day, I give you my heart, and with it, these promises:

I promise to love you for the rest of my life, following Christ in the journey He’s set out before us.

I promise to dream with you, to challenge you, to travel with you, and to grow with you.

I promise to serve you wholeheartedly, and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring.

I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph.

I promise to be your partner in parenthood, your ally in conflict, your comrade in adventure, your consolation in disappointment, your accountability in darkness, and your accomplice in mischief.

‘Where you go, I will go. And where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God.’

You are my person – my love and my life, today and always.”

Photo by Heather Hawkins

School Year Resolutions

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Hustle + Florals

Happy Wednesday, friends! I always feel like I’m in my best rhythm on Wednesdays – does anyone else feel the same way? I seem to have an extra boost of energy that helps me be super productive, allowing me to accomplish lots of tasks on my to-do list.

I wrote about this before, but I really find the month of September to be so invigorating. Don’t get me wrong – summer is still my favorite season, but there’s something about the sentimentality of a fresh new school year that makes me want to set brand new goals for myself. So I started thinking, in lieu of (or in addition to) making New Year’s Resolutions, why don’t we start coming up with School Year Resolutions each fall? We can create new goals for ourselves, using the timeline of a school year to chart our progress. In addition to providing you with some ways that you can make some resolutions of your own on Darling Magazine’s blog, I also thought I’d share my personal School Year Resolutions with you here. This is what I’d like to do:

  • Research and register for inspiring conferences, classes, and seminars that I could participate in for work. I would love the opportunity to get out and about a bit more, pushing myself to meet new people, explore new avenues of relationship-building and fundraising, and learn lots of new and creative ways to do my job.
  • Read two new books every month – one novel and one creative/inspiring/motivational book. On that same train of thought, I need to get a library card…
  • Cook two new recipes per month and categorize them in Evernote. This is an extension of a goal I set for myself in the New Year, and while I have been testing out lots of new recipes (and sharing many of them with you here), I haven’t done the best job of recording and organizing them in Evernote. Extra challenge: memorize some of my favorite recipes.
  • Complete one house-related project per month. This can be as simple as cleaning out a closet that’s bursting at the seams or choosing a new bedside lamp for the guest room, or it can be more time-consuming, something like repainting our master bedroom nightstands or reupholstering our couch.
  • Pursue more writing opportunities.  I am so grateful that I get to write consistently for the powerhouse that is Darling Magazine and also occasionally for the beautiful Bungalow Magazine. In addition to working on pieces for these publications, I’d like to more intentionally pursue other freelance projects and also work on some essays, query letters, and writing exercises in my free time. I love to write – it’s such a life-giving creative outlet for me – but I’d like to fine-tune some of my skills and also identify my weaknesses so that I can work to improve them.

So there you have it! What do you think – will you make a list of School Year Resolutions?

Image via designlovefest